


2348

by fireflii



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Blood, Crying, Fire, Fluff, Gen, Haikyuu - Freeform, Hospital, Hurt, Lung disease, Sad, Sickness, Volleyball, hinata having a hard time, i never write happy stuff lmao, pulmonary sarcoidosis, wattpad!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:40:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25082530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fireflii/pseuds/fireflii
Summary: hinata is diagnosed with pulmonary sarcoidosis and it’s already in its final stages, though the ginger himself is confused and the doctors are as well with how far it’s already advanced.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Comments: 3
Kudos: 29





	1. prologue

sarcoidosis.  
also know as hell.

burning. burning. burn-burn-burning.  
hinata was in the air, ready to obliterate one of kageyama's quintessential sets, when his oh-so-familiar coughing fit hit. the young ginger hit the ball and landed, allowing himself to double over as he heaved and choked. 

it took a good minute for the small crow to come to the realization that this was different from the other times. it was far more painful. out of his peripheral he saw sugawara and daichi duck under the net, kageyama already grabbing his upper arm as if to try and support his swaying body. as the third years got to him suga began gently patting his back. 

no. no. no. no. through his rheumy and blurry eyes he shoved suga away, collapsing onto his behind. his chest was on fire, the vitriolic sensation clawing up his airway and throat. he swore it was closing. closing. closing. his hands tightened around his shirt helplessly.

at this point he could sense the whole team crowding around him, words falling out of their mouths and landing on deaf ears. he was sobbing, painfully hiccuping and, still, violently coughing. a shaking hand was in front of his mouth as a particularly forceful cough fought out of his lips. 

blood. oh. he coughed up. blood?! he pulled his hand away and he thought he could make out several gasps from his teammates, hands on his shoulders tightening as he began to teeter forward. 

"c-can't... b-b-breath." hinata managed to hiss out, the words so quiet, he would be surprised if anyone heard them. the fire came back, he hadn't realized it left, and a pathetic noise rolled out of his mouth. 

the middle blocker suddenly came to the realization that he actually couldn't breath, one hand darting up to his throat. don't panic. don't panic. 

panic.

panic. 

he briefly noticed takeda talking on the phone, pacing by the club room doors. his vision was spin-spin-spinning as he pitched forward bonelessly, kageyama's hands tightening on his shoulders. ah, he wasn't coughing anymore. rushing, black clouds, colorful dots, tightening,

and he was out like a light.


	2. 1 — usually it’s fine?

"just don't overdue it again ok dumbass?!"  
tobio 

"the doctor said exercise helps dUmBaSs!" shoyo

"i swear to god if you two idiots don't shut your dumbas-"  
kei

"oh wow, our vocabulary today really is... broad." sugawara said with nonchalance intertwined in his tonality. the silver-haired setter grabbed hinata and kageyama's heads, rubbing them aggressively. he was smiling. 

but it was horrifying. 

"hinata... you need to sit."

the shorter middle blocker whined, batting away his hands. "but suga-san, my doctor already called the school. i've been out for almost a month and exercise helps." his hands clasped together as he begged the vice captain. 

"aw, my precious little kou-" suga was pinching one of the gingers cheeks when daichi walked in with ukai at his side. "whoopsies!" the setter ducked behind kageyama. "shhh don't let daichi see me!" he whispered quite loudly, making hinata chuckle.

"um.. sugawara-senpai, he can see you you know." kageyama looked flustered, the dark haired boy clearly trying the fathom why he chose to hide behind him.. he wasn't that tall and daichi could clearly see- 

"you're going to hurt yourself thinking that hard." tsukishima muttered with a click of his tongue.

daichi, whom wasn't bothering to listen to the conversation called hinata forward with a swift movement of his head. without even waiting to see if hinata followed, he walked back towards the benches. "ah! wait!" the middle blocker jogged over to the captain and his coach, tilting his head.

"i already told you! i'm allow-"

"regardless of what you are allowed to do, i'm saying you're only doing half of the workouts." ukai huffed, the smell of smoke lingering around his words. 

"but coach, what do you think i've been doing this month?! i've been getting treatment after treatment and i'm fine now!" hinata's pleading look turned into one of anger as ukai grabbed his wrists. 

"what about stage four pulmonary sarcoidosis sounds fine to you hinata?! you were bedridden three of those weeks!" 

a pause. a flinch. 

the whole team was holding their breath, even daichi, the captain having already taken a few steps back.

"leave me alone." hinatas voice cracked as he yanked his hands away from ukai's, looking at the ground as he walked over to pick up a volleyball. when he looked up again his eyes were threatening to spill over with unshed tears. the teen shook the ball in his hands. "let's practice." 

—

to say the least, practice was uncomfortable, ukai hadn't said a word, and neither had hinata. he didn't understand, who in the hell gave him the right?! the ginger pressed the ball into his forehead, trying not to scream as he tossed the ball in the air, getting ready to serve once more.

constant,

constant,

constant.

the doctors, his mother, even natsu had coddled him and waited on him hand and foot. it was driving him mad. it's not like he had cancer or anything! it was just some stupid lung disease that most people didn't even realize they had ninety percent of the time. hinata huffed, dragging a hand across his face as he waited for asahi to spike the ball down the line. 

suddenly his head snapped back and pain radiated through his nose and blossomed across his face. the middle blocker let out an impromptu yelp as he stumbled back, hands covering his face instantaneously. 

"hinata!" 

"oh my god-"

"i'm so s-sorry!" 

he regained his composure quickly, embarrassment strewn across his features. he expected everyone to be chuckling and snickering, asahi rushing to apologize. all of the norms.

he opened his eyes, smiling brightly before he saw everyone crowded around him, his face immediately fell. his captains hand was on his back as if he were trying to steady him. "uh, i'm fine..." he muttered, exasperation replacing embarrassment. "i don't know why you all have to freak out this happens everyday." he shot, looking around the circle of people. for heavens sake even kageyama had a stupid concerned look on his face! 

"do you need to sit down?" suga asked quietly, ukai making his way to the circle, an odd look in his eyes... regret maybe? hinata fumed, shouldering daichi's hand away. 

"how many times do i have to say i'm fine?!" he practically yelled, what the hell was even going on! this happened all the time! he had a lung disease

not 

fucking 

cancer 

he rubbed his nose a bit before turning to leave the little huddle that had dispersed for the most part. hinata nudged past asahi who's mouth was slightly agape, he hadn't expected the outburst out of their sunshine player.

"i'm using the restroom." he hissed, suppressing the urge to slam the door behind him as disappeared into the bathroom down the hall.

he'd been doing so well during the one week he was actually at home, back to his normal, happy, bouncy self. he'd been a "good patient" (as his mom put it) and taken his steroids, as well as done his breathing treatments, and taken like twenty pills, even methotrexate, the medication he was convinced did more bad than good. he'd assumed once he got back to school his life would resume, as if it had never stopped. he hadn't expected the indisputable concern that was practically radiating off of every single one of the players and coaches in that room. 

"i. don't. under. stand." he muttered, pressing his palms into his forehead as he leaned on the sink. he didn't realize he was crying until he saw his tears roll down the drain. his vision blurred from the tears and he quickly rubbed his eyes, scared someone would walk in on him in this state. 

an impromptu dizzy spell overtook his small body and he found himself crouched on the floor, hands still gripping the sink as his head fell to his chest. 

whymewhymewhymewhymewhymewhyme.

he groaned, irritated. "stupid, stupid medication." he whimpered, jumping to his feet and running to the bathroom stall. it took hardly a moment for hinata to grip the sides of the toilet and empty his stomach. he was so damn dizzy, and his head hurt and... it was nothing new to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok ok this is how long each chapter from now on will be, i know that the first one was really short.. but you know.. if you couldn’t tell already this book is going to be jam packed with angst so buckle up and prepare for a um.. long ride?


	3. 2 — trying to understand

it's just the medication. 

he reminded himself this over and over as he stood to shaky feet, running his hands through his hair and letting out a sigh. side effects of methotrexate included mood changes, nausea, vommiting, fainting, dizziness. the list goes on and on and on. a knock on the door grabbed the gingers attention, and immediately he bit his lip, looking at his pale figure in the mirror. 

"hinata! we're sorry! could you come out please?" it was suga. 

of course it was suga. 

"i... -one second suga-san!" he called, frantically turning the faucet on and splashing water on his face. hinata grabbed a paper towel and wiped off the excess water as he reached to open the door. it wasn't even locked, why did he knock? suga had a small smile on his face, dipping his head slightly. 

"hinata, you have to understand that we are just a little concerned, i know you don't want us to treat you any different, but it might be like that for a few days, we haven't seen you in a while." the third year said, intertwining his fingers together, looking at the ground. 

the first year felt shame burn through his ears, tears accumulating in the corners of his eyes again. stupid methotrex whatever. stupid emotions. when sugawara looked up he locked eyes with hinata and immediately noticed the tear that slipped down his cheek. 

a sigh escaped him and he wrapped the short player into a large embrace. hinata sucked back his tears and hugged him back loosely, trying to suppress his emotions so his upperclassmen wouldn't be worried.

"i know, i know... i should be the one apologizing." he muttered, face red from held back tears. this statement received a shake of the head from the third-year.

"we understand, there's no need to apologize." he muttered softly, putting a hand on his back. "are you ready to go back?" was the next question. 

he was ready to say yes. he really was. but his body said no and he shook his head. the burning sensation returned to his throat and he gagged slightly, nudging sugawara back as he pushed towards the toilet once more. it took a minute of heaving before he actually threw up, only a translucent bile coming out of his mouth. it was painful. 

"hinata!" the third year exclaimed worriedly, running up to him as he rubbed circles on his back, similar to that first day... "i'm going to go get coach." he declared, but before he could whip around to do so, hinata weakly grabbed his forearm. 

"no- this happens all the time... it's j-just the medicine suga-san, i promise." hinata murmured weakly, sitting back on his knees as he held his head in his hands. "just give me a minute, it'll pass." it wasn't even the sarcoidosis itself that was making him feel this way, it was the stupid 'new and better!' medication that his doctors prescribed to him. 

reluctantly suga turned away from the door, choosing to kneel beside him, resting a hand on his shoulder. "if you're sure." he said with a sad smile, trying not to portray a look of pity on his features, he knew it would just make hinata even more hurt than he already was.

—

after what seemed like forever, hinata picked his head out of his hands, looking over at the silver haired boy. "i'm ready." he said with a smile, accepting the hand suga offered him as he stood up. sugawara made a move to wrap his arm around the middle blockers waist but he shook his head. "i'm fine, thank you though." 

practice was to be over in around 20 minutes, this morning practice 30 minutes shorter than their afternoon practices. the sun had risen and some people were already at school, despite classes not commencing for another half hour. 

hinata allowed suga to steady him with one arm, for the middle blocker was still wavering on his feet. a moment later the two stepped into the gym and all eyes darted towards the pair. immediately, hinata threw himself into a 90° bow, shame once again inching its way to the tops of his ears. 

"i'm so sorry!" he said in a loud voice, making sure it sounded strong,

like his usual self.

"ah, hinata, i told you not to apologize..." suga muttered cheekily, intertwining his fingers once more. eventually, ukai walked over, nudging hinata up gently from his bow.

"i should be the one apologizing. i was scared after that day when yo-" he was cut off by a flinch from hinata, "i shouldn't have spoken the way i did, and for that i'm sorry." he gave a slight bow, patting the crow on his head. 

"i shouldn't have argued, either way i... i think i need to sit down for the rest of practice" the statement was through clenched teeth as he curled his fists into his sides, eyes scrutinizing the ground. 

ukai gave suga a look that said tell me after practice. but it was unbeknownst to hinata.

"of course." was all he said as the three of them walked over to the bench, hinata slowly sitting down, a sigh escaping him. 

"sugawara you can return to practice." ukai said, flicking the third year on the forehead. a wide smile danced across his features as he dipped his head before jogging off to meet the others who were doing serving drills; daichi, nishinoya, and kinoshita passing. 

—

the rest of practice went smoothly, save of a few glances that were sent hinatas way, whom had sprawled out on the bench, fast asleep with one arm dangling over the side. ukai had suggested getting the nurse but the small crow refused, so he allowed him to sleep. after drinking plenty of water first. 

for the first time since this whole "illness thing" went down, hinata was at ease, 

finding pleasure in a dreamless slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please please leave reviews!! :)


	4. 3 — anaphyla what now?

day 23 back in school. 

coach ukai had arranged to take the team out for dinner after one of their long friday practices. they decided on a nearby steamed pork bun shop, and were planning to depart. hinata quickly texted his mom, informing her of the situation. she agreed and a smile found its way to his lips. 

"hey! kageyama! i can goooo!!!" he shouted, jumping up and down before grabbing his bag and practically ripped it open. the mentioned observed him, face impassive as usual. 

"change out of your gym clothes, you smell like ass." the snarky comment made hinata pause, face pinched together. 

"i was getting there!" the middle blocker squawked, sticking his tongue out before racing back to the changing room, an armful of clothes in his arms. typically, the team stayed in their practice clothes , but ukai had said this place was slightly nicer and they needed to change back to their school uniforms. everyone was already changed and waiting on hinata who's mother took a particularly long time to respond. 

he roughly changed clothes, not bothering to fix his sweatshirt underneath as he buttoned his shirt. "tada!" he muttered to himself, quickly cuffing his pant legs that were almost dragging on the floor. before he could fully run out of the room he paused. he was missing something.. but what was it again?!

thinkthinkthinkthink

AH! medicine! 

once every week (friday's for hinata) around 8pm, he had to inject methotrexate. it wasn't even painful! but he definitely forgot the injection pen in his bag. crap. the ginger crow darted out of the club room and leapt down the steps, skipping all three of them. 

everyone was waiting for him. oops.

"i forgot to do something i'll be right back i'm so sorry!" he apologized, tripping over his words as he grabbed his bag and jogged back to where he began. hinata rummaged through his bag until he saw his "lucky yellow pen" (as natsu liked to call it). it looked oddly like an epi-pen, which almost made hinata laugh when he first got it. almost. 

he lifted up his shirt with his mouth, looking at the 4 sharpied on mini black circles. his doctor had instructed him to keep track of his injection spots, which were to be on his stomach and thighs. as for now, he didn't want the team seeing the injection sites on his legs so he stuck with his stomach. he took a deep breath before jamming the pen into the right side of his abdomen. 

and then asahi walked in.

they both just stared at each other for a few moments, hinata with a pen literally stabbed in his stomach. asahi started to stutter but hinata quickly took it out and put the cap on, shoving it back in the bag. before he could explain to the third-year what it was he ran up to him.

"a-a-are you having an allergic reaction?! did...d-d-d-did you eat-eat something bad?!" 

he was panicking. lovely. 

"no! no,no i'm fine asahi-san!" he tried to sooth, waving his hands in front of his face. asahi didn't hear him, resorting to feeling over his face, checking for signs of anaphylactic shock or something. 

"asahi! it wasn't an epi-pen!" he said in an exasperated voice, painting a 'i love you but sometimes you annoy me' smile on his face. "it was a methotrexate injection." hinata said, a hand on the ace's shoulder. 

"ohh......wait. what's that?" 

"it's for sarcoidosis, my condition. i have to take it every friday at night and i almost forgot!" the ginger genuinely smiled before taking a black sharpie from the pocket of his pants and adding another dark ring to his slowly building circle collection.

"i-oh-um, sorry i walked in on you." the third year said with a slight bow of his head, helping his kohai to his feet. 

hinata took his hand and shook his head. "it's fine, but don't be surprised if i get realllllly tired during dinner." his gesticulations were expressive and it make asahi nod, the ace smiling.

"alright, you ready?" asahi asked and with that the two left, asahi in front hinata. 

"asahi why do you look like you've seen a ghost?" nishinoya asked, bouncing up to the taller, a smirk on his face. 

without a glance back at hinata, let alone a hesitation, asahi answered, "hm? no, just went and grabbed-" he cut off, gesturing back in the gingers direction. the mentioned furrowed his brows, wondering why asahi didn't just tell noya-senpai what actually happened. 

and oddly enough, hinata was glad he didn't, though he wasn't sure why. 

"wellllll then let's gooooooo!" noya screamed, hinata hot on his heels as they made their way to the bus that was transporting them to the restaurant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this one is a bit short, it was written around 3am hahaha

**Author's Note:**

> hello! my wattpad account is @firefli- and this book really didn’t seem to get any love at all, despite the fact that i spent countless hours researching sarcoidosis and almost EVERYTHING about it... ahaha..... anyways, i thought i would post it here to see if maybe it would fare better..? 
> 
> on another note, please please please leave comments and reviews, i take constructive criticism!!!!!


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